Season 1

Episode 12



I'm Baaaaack!

After 2 months of experiencing nausea 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, it finally broke, just like a fever does. I was standing in the kitchen and all of a sudden I felt it lift and with that, I instantly felt like “me” again. At first I didn’t believe it but then after an hour, then two, then three, I knew it was real — I was back! 

I was pregnant (13.5 weeks as of December 5th, 2016). We were all really excited about it (I’m assuming the baby was too) but amongst the the chronic nausea, I was feeling less enthusiastic about my situation. Apparently “morning sickness” is a HUGE misnomer. Instead, it should be called ALL-FRIGGEN-DAY-I-WANT-TO-PUKE-BUT-NEVER-ACTUALLY-DO-WHICH-WOULD-BE-BETTER-THAN-THIS-BUT-INSTEAD-I-FEEL-LIKE-I-HAVE-THE-WORST-HANGOVER-OF-MY-LIFE-EXCEPT-FOR-THAT-ONE-BIRTHDAY sickness. 

I must be out of the first trimester. Just like that. I was surged with extra energy, like other women had promised. I felt alive and capable. 
And it was just in time to enjoy the last half of my dear friend Carly’s visit AND then to quickly prepare my company’s trade show booth at the Whole Life Expo in Toronto AND squeeze in prep for my own lecture that I had not yet had time to prepare for AND... I had actually planned on taking it easy this weekend because of being sick for so long. But, being the CEO of my company, shit falls on me. People cancelled last minute for their shift at the booth. Then others wanted to leave earlier than they were scheduled. They were “tired” or “not feeling well”. SERIOUSLY??? Luckily on Sunday my wonderful mom was there to help me. Thank God for my mom! 
Sunday at 6 I was done and then headed straight to our curling game and was home and in bed by about 10:30. More work than expected and less sleep than intended but I made it through with my wonderful surge of energy! Cuz I’m baaaaaack!!

Monday morning came and I hit the gym feeling totally back in the game. I went to the spin bikes and did 20 min of bike sprints (i.e., 15 sec sprints, 45 seconds recovery ride, repeat for 20 mins). No problem 3 months ago. Today, this was taking it easy. A few weeks ago I tried those lazy bikes where you basically half lying down. I did an insanely low intensity and after 10 minutes my heart rate was up to 144 and I was out of breath and had to stop. 

But today, I was feeling good of course. The sprints made me tired but, good tired like I am when it’s training season, not like I wanted to puke tired.
I had thought about doing weights but felt my body feeling a bit tired and decided "not to overdo it for my first time back" so instead I went up to the yoga studio to do a gentle practice. 

Oh the wisdom of foresight I wish I had... By that afternoon I was done, spent, nauseous, exhausted, annihilated. I overdid it. And then it became clear. That nausea served even more purpose, or at least did for me. It kept me from wasting energy on my body and instead, intelligently diverted all resources to the growing little baby. Or at least, that’s how I have come to see it in retrospect. My body was not meant to train hard while pregnant. My body was meant to create space for this little being growing inside. And the only real way it could do that was to let me know very clearly, who was in charge. 

Thank you. I appreciate the greater wisdom in biology and in my mama brain than in my own ego.



Supplementary Information